Getting Back Into a Routine: Why Consistency Matters for Young People

By Jason Smith, Founder & Executive Director, Soleful Kicks

Summer Has a Way of Changing the Rules

There is a lot to love about summer, especially when you are a kid. School is out, schedules become more flexible and many of the routines that dictate our lives during the school year temporarily disappear. Bedtimes get later, mornings start later, screen time may increase and there simply aren’t as many deadlines, exams to study for or expectations to meet. While many of these are considered the “gifts” of summer, they also bring with them challenges that many youth face as back-to-school approaches.

As a parent, I see this in my own home. Summer has a way of slowly changing routines without us even noticing it. Staying up an extra hour becomes two hours. Sleeping a little later eventually becomes sleeping until noon. None of these things necessarily mean something is wrong. In many ways, that flexibility is part of what makes summer enjoyable.

The challenge comes when August and September arrive and we suddenly expect young people to flip a switch. After weeks or even months of living one way, the alarm clock is back, school starts early, assignments have deadlines and young people are once again expected to manage a much more structured day.

For some kids, that transition happens fairly easily. For others, the transition can be much more difficult and may even create significant anxiety.

 

Going Back to School Is More Than a Schedule Change

Returning to school doesn’t simply mean waking up earlier. It can mean new teachers, different classmates, unfamiliar expectations, increased academic pressure and a completely different social environment.

For some young people, all of that change also brings anxiety.

A young person who experiences social anxiety may spend the summer in an environment where they have more control over their interactions with other people. Some youth may even spend much of the summer isolated from others. Then the school year begins and suddenly they are surrounded by hundreds of other students, navigating classrooms, lunch periods, group projects, extracurricular activities and countless social interactions every day.  Even for adults this can be mentally exhausting. 

We sometimes look at the first day of school through an adult lens and think primarily about schedules, transportation, supplies and homework. For a young person, however, there may be a completely different set of questions running through their mind. Who will be in my classes? Where am I going to sit at lunch? Will I know anyone? What if I don’t understand something? What if I don’t fit in?

All of us reading this can probably relate in some way from our own experiences with school, work, friends and family.

Those concerns are real, and simply telling a young person not to worry rarely makes them disappear. In fact, doing that can sometimes make things worse.

Routine Can Make the Unknown Feel More Manageable

Routine cannot eliminate anxiety, nor should we expect it to. What consistency can do is remove some of the uncertainty surrounding everything else.

 

When a young person knows what time they wake up, what happens when they get home, when homework gets done and what the evening looks like, portions of their day become predictable. When other parts of life feel uncertain, having something you can count on matters.

Routine also reduces the number of decisions a young person has to make throughout the day. When certain parts of the day become predictable, there is more energy available to navigate the academic and social challenges that aren’t.

Adults experience this too. Think about returning to work after a long vacation. The alarm clock feels a little earlier, your inbox seems a little fuller and it can take several days before everything starts feeling normal again. At one of my jobs we even had a name for this: post-vacation depression.  Now imagine making that adjustment while also navigating adolescence, academics and an ever-changing social environment.

Sometimes we focus so much on getting young people “back on schedule” that we overlook what the transition actually feels like for them. Rebuilding routine isn’t simply about enforcing rules. It can also be about helping a young person regain a sense of stability and confidence as they adjust to something that feels new again.

The good news is that young people can be remarkably resilient, especially when they have consistent support as they work through the transition.

Consistency Does Not Mean Perfection

One of the mistakes we can make when establishing routines is expecting perfection too quickly. A young person doesn’t suddenly develop good habits because the calendar says school has started.

They are going to oversleep occasionally. Homework may be forgotten. Bedtimes will get pushed. There will be difficult mornings and weeks when everything seems to get off track.

That doesn’t mean the routine has failed.  Consistency isn’t doing everything perfectly. It is learning how to get back on track when things slip and get messy.

Think progress, not perfection.

That lesson extends far beyond the school year. Most successful adults aren’t successful because they never lose focus, make mistakes or have bad days. They develop the ability to recognize when they are getting off track, make adjustments and begin moving forward again.

Think about returning to the gym after taking some time off. Chances are you didn’t immediately pick up exactly where you left off. You eased back into the routine, rebuilt your confidence and gradually found your rhythm again. Young people deserve some of that same patience.

 

 

Start With Something Manageable

When everything feels out of rhythm, trying to fix everything at once can make the situation even more overwhelming. Sometimes the best place to start is with one thing.

Maybe the goal is getting to school on time every day this week. Maybe it’s putting the phone away at a certain time each night. It could be completing homework before gaming, preparing clothes and a backpack the night before or simply eating breakfast before leaving the house.

One manageable change creates an opportunity for success. Success creates confidence and confidence makes the next change feel a little more achievable.

This is especially important when a young person is already feeling overwhelmed. Telling someone they need to “get it together” doesn’t provide much direction. Helping them identify one place to begin does.

Where Soleful Kicks Fits

At Soleful Kicks, consistency is built into the goal-setting process. A young person may choose to improve a grade, attendance, behavior, physical activity or another area of their life, but achieving that goal rarely comes from one really good day.

It comes from what happens repeatedly over ten weeks.

Showing up consistently, checking in with a supportive adult, making adjustments when something isn’t working and getting back on track after a difficult week are all part of the process. The shoes recognize the accomplishment at the end, but the routines and habits developed along the way may ultimately be much more valuable.  That’s where growth occurs.

 

This is also why meeting young people where they are matters. A young person struggling during the first few weeks of school may not need another adult immediately telling them to work harder. They may need someone willing to listen, understand what is getting in the way and help them identify one achievable place to start.

Building Something That Lasts

The beginning of a school year represents a fresh start, but fresh starts don’t have to mean changing everything overnight.

Routine takes time to rebuild. Confidence takes time to rebuild. For some young people, simply becoming comfortable in their new environment takes time too.

Our role as parents, educators, mentors and youth-serving professionals isn’t to remove every challenge or create a perfectly structured life for young people. It is to help them develop the skills to create structure for themselves. Help them form a plan and take steps in the right direction.

That starts with consistency.

One morning that goes well becomes another. One completed assignment becomes another. One successful week creates the confidence to take on the next.

There will be setbacks along the way, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is learning how to keep moving forward, even when you occasionally get off track.